What to Do When It All Sucks Eggs

Confession (aka whining) time: the last two weeks have been very difficult for me. I’m not learning as quickly as I think I should be, I’m constantly making stupid mistakes, and I can’t remember anything about forms and Rails and Ruby and… So basically, I should just give up and move on with my life.

Except that’s crazy. I’m not being kind or even remotely fair to myself. I’m wallowing in self-pity and negative self-talk. The former teacher in me remembers seeing my students struggle in the exact same way, and not one of them was right about their inability to learn. If I was my own student in Mrs. Cook’s (that’s me!) class two years ago, I’d be in for an earful. So, it’s time to put my teacher hat back on and take myself to second grade…

The Power of Yet

If you didn’t watch the video, you are missing out on copious amounts of cuteness. Go watch it. I’ll wait.

I loved showing this video to my students every year. It always sparked a deep conversation. Students who typically struggled in math or reading were shocked when the “brainiacs” revealed their own insecurities about learning. The higher-performing kiddos found themselves being supported and encouraged by their peers. For months after our discussion, I would hear my compassionate little scholars saying things like, “It’s ok. You just don’t get it yet. You will! Remember when we were both stuck on number bonds?” And my heart grew three sizes each time.

Change Your Mindset

When you’re feeling like I have these past two weeks, you are operating with a fixed mindset. Basically, part of you believes you can’t learn, that it’s too hard, that you’ll never get it. This actually makes it harder to persevere and succeed. It’s difficult to break out of this way of thinking, but you can do it. There are many strategies to shift your perspective to a growth mindset, but these are a few that I personally find helpful:

1. Your Brain is a Muscle

Having a growth mindset means you believe you can get smarter, understand more, and develop new abilities. You don’t have a limiting amount of “brain space” to store knowledge. Instead, your brain, like every muscle in your body can grow. If you haven’t read about neuroplasticity, check it out. Our brains are flat-out amazing.

2. Shake it Off

In the elementary school setting, teachers are encouraged to provide one- to five-minute movement breaks every hour. In my classroom, this often meant a few yoga stretches or a quick dance party! Giving my students the opportunity to “get the wiggles out” helped them refocus and get back to work with renewed energy. In the realm of adults, the popular Pomodoro technique suggests working in 25-minute bursts with 5-minute breaks in between. While I don’t follow a specific work-break schedule, I try to get up and move around at least once an hour.

When you find yourself wearing out, getting discouraged, or wandering away from your Rails project to search for random Supernatural gifs, take a break. Do some stretches, get a glass of water, or take a walk around the block. You deserve it, and you’ll be able to focus when you return.

3. Memory Lane

Remember the Power of Yet. At 15, you were probably equally excited and terrified at the thought of driving a car for the first time. Now, driving to the grocery store with your music blasting and a cold soda in your hand is as easy as breathing. Think of things you have mastered in the past. Remember what it felt like as you struggled to acquire that skill, and compare it to how you feel now. Consider that a few years from now, you’ll look back to today with the same feeling of pride and accomplishment.

4. Pep Talk

Be your own cheerleader, even when you think you stink. In a recent meeting with my Flatiron Educational Coach, Talia Salzberg Horowitz, we discussed how difficult positive self-talk can be. She suggested I try addressing myself by name. Apparently, when you use your own name, you end up being kinder to yourself. It seems really silly, and I feel like a giant goofus when I do it, but after a few minutes of muttering, “Ok Aud, you’ve got this. You are a great problem solver. Just keep practicing, Audrea,” I actually do feel better.

If you just can’t think of anything nice to say to yourself, reach out to your support team. If you are a Flatiron student, this team includes your coaches, your fellow cohort members, and the rest of the Flatiron community! Reach out; we’ll lift you up. If you aren’t a Flatiron student, we’ll still be happy to send good vibes your way. Learning is hard. You aren’t alone.

As a teacher, I spent hours developing a growth mindset culture inside my classroom. We talked about the “Power of Yet,” the idea that when we learn, we are actively growing our brains. As it turns out, I forgot the lessons I was once so proud of teaching. I just don’t get it YET, but I will. What seemed impossible in June is second-nature today. This will be, too.